- Who goes back to a house with a group of men/football team?
- I wonder if they were drunk.
- Apparently they were out partying with the same guys the next night
- Apparently some guys were holding back until the Captain of the team went into the room, and then they all thought it was okay.
- I think that guys that were there but had little or no involvement will end up taking the fall for the guys who actually did it.
Because NO ONE asks to be raped - not with the level of their sobriety, not with there amount of clothes, not with the gender or number imbalance of the people they're with, not with the flirting they do, because NO ONE asks to be raped. Got it?
Also, in relation to those two comments, there is an implication that the girls being there, or being drunk, meant that they consented on some level. Well people, if you don't know already you should know by now - consent is fluid, consent is a negotiation, consent is not a present given and then held for evermore. That means that even in the unlikely event that you, semi naked, in your slutty* clothes, two sheets to the wind, decide that a gang bang with the suburban footie boys is a great idea, YOU are ALLOWED to change your mind. It is only right that you can say to yourself, yes sex seems like a good idea and then decide later on that you don't feel safe, you don't feel aroused, you don't feel like it, you feel tired, you feel like you would prefer to read a book or just that his breath smells bad. You have that right.
/sarcasm - Because never in the history of sexual relations between humans has rape occured and the survivor has still maintained contact with the rapist....Never ever /end sarcasm. Look, I understand that many people may think that if you had been raped the only reasonable response is to stay the fuck away from the rapist. I get that. But you have to remember, and think about how relations really work between men and women.
It doesn't have to be this way
It won't stop being a rape culture until people are aware that it is a rape culture
In order for that to happen, people need to be held accountable for innappropriate behaviour - jokes, comments, interactions as well as the more identifiable abuses.