So - I identify as a feminist.
I used to say 'No I'm not a feminist, I'm for equality". Mainly because that word "Feminist" was too confronting, too on the offense for the majority of people I speak to. And I did not have the knowledge to argue further.
But now I'm trying to learn. And I understand the Feminism is all about Equality. And I'm trying to live my life with a little more "Hey, not cool" when I see patriarchy, misogyny and rape culture going on.
But I'm learning, and I'm navigating my way through to my own brand of feminism. And I have a lot of reading to do on theory, of which I have done pretty much nada.
So why now? What's brought me to this point?
I think motherhood has a lot to do with it. And whilst it shouldn't make a difference, but being the mother of a girl has a lot to do with it as well. What kind of world do I want her to be in? How do I want her to be treated? What subtle shit goes on in society that she just shouldn't have to point is out is bullshit, but will have to?
So I'm off to do a lot of reading and thinking and exploring and probably veering between one idea and another until I find what is right and wrong for me and what I think about all this chick stuff :P. Would be great if you could join me, and share your thoughts as well.
Some thoughts and questions that have lead me to this point include, but are not limited to:
Why the pink and the priss and the niceness and the neatness for girls?
Why should my baby girl have to cover up around male persons before my baby nephew does - and why do we still expect women/girls to help men from committing offences by censuring their( the females) behaviour, dress etc?
Unequal parenting and societies parenting expectations.
Rape jokes, rape culture and how almost everyone knows will comment on the victims dress, behaviour or other thing they should've done different in order to avoid being raped!
Linking in with the above, the proliferation of violent oppressive porn.
Last names and why you shouldn't take your husbands (out of all the posts that could happen, I think this one may anger the people I know the most).
So...there's a lot to unpack there. There's a lot I need to learn. I think I may start with rape culture and what that means and what to do about it when I see it. Especially when I see it in the people I love....
So here I go...
love the blog, keep it coming, rant rant rant rant : )
ReplyDeleteWow, that's a lot to cover. Ian says I am a feminist. I prefer to think that I stand up for what I think is right...I try to avoid the feminist tag.
ReplyDeleteMy opinion on what I know nothing about:
Don't kids develop wrt what they are exposed to? If you push the prissy and pink then that is what you're girl will be; if you let her play with trucks in the sand pit as well maybe she'll be more balanced???
I took Ian's last name. I was originally in the "not changing" camp, but I think that upset him quite a bit. I rethought about it, and decided I wanted people to know I was married...my status had changed, as that would be demonstrated by my change in name.
Hi Chris,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you've commented. I would be interested in why you avoid the feminist label - do you mind explaining that a bit?
I'll just quickly comment on your other points as I hope to explore them further in other posts.
Re: pink and prissy. I can limit Edie's (her name for in the blog!)exposure to this stuff but there is only so much I can do as I believe that it so pervasisive and so saturated that it is almost impossible to avoid - maybe if I home school her, make all her own clothes and ban the TV! :P.
Re: name changing. It seems you've thought about it and that makes me happy. I don't think a lot of women do think about it and it's because that it's not really seem as an option. Also, I think a lot of women are frightened/threatened by their partners response if they didn't take their partners name, and *that* pisses me off.