tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58990458473626164352023-11-16T05:43:06.033+11:00Profligate Promiscuous StrumpetSnarky, opinated, biased...Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-39939026331609857732011-07-27T15:55:00.000+10:002011-07-27T15:55:53.544+10:00MusingsToday, I am so grateful for having such great friends. I have old friends, <a href="http://profligatepromiscuoustrumpet.blogspot.com/2010/12/safe-space-bookclub-is-awesome-wrapped.html">book club friends</a>, bellydancing friends, and motherhood related friends. There's overlap in all these groups, but they have their own history, their own dynamic and their own way in making feel useful and wanted in this world. <br />
<br />
Their ability to help me synthesise my thoughts and create joy in my life is so important and needed.<br />
<br />
I think having friends that are parents, and that are on the same vague parenting page as you, is almost essential to Motherhood. The way society is set up at the moment, stay-at-home mums tend to spend the majority of their time with their children as the only adult. Finding other Mothers who are on the same page makes connecting and hanging out that much easier, and the experience of Motherhood that little bit less lonely. So today I am grateful for those friends, and for finding friends, old and new.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-78232652805497210742011-07-19T21:04:00.000+10:002011-07-19T21:04:25.728+10:00I think we need to stop using 'Stabby'It's a great word, as it so accurately describes that feeling of rage that we got from douchecanoes, bad drivers and body police. It sounds kinda fun, lighthearted, with the -y ending. <br />
<br />
But if we (progressives/feminists/equalists etc) are a community that is against violence, a community that is aware that violence and threats of violence are used against us, especially against women, I think it's a little lazy and crass for us to use such a violent term. Especially when usually we are just really fucking angry.<br />
<br />
I know some of my very favourite bloggers use it, and those of you who do, I would love to hear from you. Am I completely off track? Is it something we should do, but meh, more important things?<br />
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Language, and the way we use it, is important. And something we should be <em>aware</em> of how we use.<br />
Thoughts? <br />
<br />
Discuss...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-16919585702577701262011-06-15T15:30:00.001+10:002011-06-15T15:49:17.992+10:00Men, I am not against you, I am for you.<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dear Men</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am a feminist. I do not hate you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not against you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am for you!<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am for you being shown as stronger than your sexual urges; I know you can think beyond skin, short skirts, fuckability, your dick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know you are able to think about whether your need for sex trumps other persons autonomy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stand with you against that shit.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am for you being smart and capable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ads that show you as stupid, incapable of figuring out laundry are terrible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are smart and intelligent and adult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am for you being shown as capable in spheres outside your workplace, especially housework and parenting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you can build a house, run a company, balance the books, you can figure out how to change a diaper or run a vacuum cleaner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stand with you, sharing the load.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am for you being encouraged to show your emotions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are not less than because you cry, because you hug, because you kiss someone the same gender as you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am for you showing your vulnerability, I stand with you against stoic stereotypes.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am for you having equal parenting rights, especially when it comes to part time work and work culture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You should be able to have rights to part time/job-share work on par with your female counterparts who are parents. You should have equal leave rights when it comes to newborns. This should not only be enshrined in legislation but work culture as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stand with you against father equalling full time working missing out on your children absentee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Fuck that.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am for you, I love you and the patriarchy fucks you over just as much as it does us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stand with you, strong and staunch.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: x-small;">NB: I apologise for the heteronormativity of the above - I did it delibrately to make an impact. I apologise for erasing certain peoples and populations.</span></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-67694238347065977582011-01-05T10:51:00.002+11:002011-01-06T08:38:44.805+11:0032nd Down Under Feminists CarnivalHappy New Year Everybody.<br />
I hope 2011 is full of awesome, stripey socks, kitty/puppy cuddles, yummy food and plenty of time for drinking/relaxing sleeping. Please replace any of the these with your desired relaxation/joy activities!<br />
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<br />
Welcome to the 32nd edition of the (dum, dum, de duuum)<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><strong><u><a href="http://downunderfeministscarnival.wordpress.com/">Down Under Feminists Carnival.</a></u></strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://downunderfeministscarnival.wordpress.com/about/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="the logo for the Down Under Feminists Carnival - the international symbol for 'female' with the Southern Cross in the centre" class="alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-6" height="150" src="http://downunderfeministscarnival.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/logo.jpg?w=150&h=150" title="dufc-logo" width="150" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I've tried to make it as user-friendly as possible - I hope you enjoy! </div><br />
Thanks to all those who have submitted, and a special thanks to the wonderful Chally for all her help and dealing with my last minute freak-outs!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Creativity/Geekery</strong></span><br />
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The Hoydens share their love of the Sound of Music (Who woulda thunk Sound of Music was feminist!?) in <a href="http://hoydenabouttown.com/20101224.9215/bftp-friday-hoyden-top-10-reasons-i-love-the-sound-of-music/">BFTP Friday Hoyden: Top 10 reasons I love The Sound of Music </a><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Disability</span></strong><br />
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Over at Zero at the Bone, Chally talks about <a href="http://zeroatthebone.wordpress.com/2010/12/14/2831/">Constant Vigilance </a><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Family/Women's Work</strong></span><br />
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SAHM feminist gets <a href="http://sahmfeminist.blogspot.com/2010/12/on-soapbox-breastfeeding-in-public.html">on the soapbox.. breastfeeding in Public</a>. <br />
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Spilt Milk talks on <a href="http://mymilkspilt.wordpress.com/2010/12/07/maternity-from-here/">Maternity, from here </a><br />
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In a Strange Land, Deborah says <a href="http://inastrangeland.wordpress.com/2010/12/07/perhaps-hitting-children-really-is-too-horrible-to-contemplate/">Perhaps hitting children really is too horrible to contemplate </a><br />
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Blue Milk says - <a href="http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2010/12/01/quick-lets-throw-ourselves-under-a-bus/">Quick, let's throw ourselves under a bus </a><br />
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Ariane shows how a woman's work is literally never done, especially at Christmas time: <a href="http://shonias.blogspot.com/2010/12/christmas-brought-to-you-by-women.html">Christmas, brought to you by women </a><br />
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The Hoydens remind everyone that breastfeeding is not.about.you. <a href="http://hoydenabouttown.com/20101221.9191/bftp-parenting-while-female-its-not-about-you/">BFTP: Parenting While Female: “It’s Not About You” </a><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">General Feminism/Social Justice</span></strong><br />
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Jo talks about how Selley's have lost her business in <a href="http://jotamar.wordpress.com/2010/12/11/i-buy-hardware-supplies/">I buy hardware supplies... </a><br />
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Over at The News with Nipples, Kim suggests that maybe feminists haven't yet achieved world domination - <a href="http://newswithnipples.com/2010/12/02/the-f-monster-and-world-domination/">The F monster and world domination</a> . It made me LOLSOB.<br />
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At The Fat Heffalump, we are reminded that <a href="http://fatheffalump.wordpress.com/2010/12/12/its-ok-to-be-weird/">It's OK to be 'Weird'</a>? . And it really really is :).<br />
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The wonderful women over at at The Hand Mirror provide a list of <a href="http://thehandmirror.blogspot.com/2010/12/feminist-blogging-in-aotearoa-new.html">Feminist blogging in Aotearoa New Zealand </a><br />
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Boganette on <a href="http://www.boganette.com/2010/12/why-are-you-part-of-womens-liberation.html">Why are you part of the women's liberation movement</a>? <br />
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"Boganette resurrects a classic and the usual trolls show up to play!" <br />
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Mindy at The Hoydens is <a href="http://hoydenabouttown.com/20101223.9207/bitter/">Bitter</a>.<br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Language/Literature</span></strong><br />
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Chally, clever thing that she is, has written a series of amazing posts on women and Iconography at Bitch Magazine. I suggest that you make yourself your favourite beverage of choice, put your feet up and read them.<br />
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<a href="http://bitchmagazine.org/post/iconography-octavia-e-butler-and-rewriting-the-other">Iconography: Octavia E. Butler and Rewriting the Other | books, authors, science fiction | Bitch Magazine</a><br />
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<a href="http://bitchmagazine.org/post/iconography-ursula-k-le-guin-the-model-of-a-modern-mythmaker">Iconography: Ursula K. Le Guin, the Model of a Modern Mythmaker | Science Fiction, women, literature | Bitch Magazine </a><br />
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<a href="http://bitchmagazine.org/post/iconography-the-peony-pavilion">Iconography: The Peony Pavilion | books, literature, feminism, theater | Bitch Magazine </a><br />
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<a href="http://bitchmagazine.org/post/iconography-the-woman-no-one-saw">Iconography: The Woman No One Saw | James Tiptree Jr., Alice B. Sheldon, books | Bitch Magazine </a><br />
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<a href="http://bitchmagazine.org/post/iconography-the-rather-extraordinary-astrid-lindgren-and-pippi-longstocking">Iconography: The Rather Extraordinary Astrid Lindgren and Pippi Longstocking | books, gender, children | Bitch Magazine </a><br />
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<a href="http://bitchmagazine.org/post/iconography-harry-potter-and-the-girls-who-weren’t-chosen-ones">Iconography: Harry Potter and the Girls Who Weren’t Chosen Ones | Bitch Magazine </a><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">LGBTQIA</span></strong><br />
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The Hoydens talk about Captain Bridget Clinch - <a href="http://hoydenabouttown.com/20101205.9089/in-support-of-captain-bridget-clinch/">In Support of Captain Bridget Clinch</a> and Pharaoh Kat follows up with some awesome activism in <a href="http://morethansides.blogspot.com/2010/12/supporting-captain-clinch-and-why.html">Supporting Captain Clinch and Why Pronouns Matter </a><br />
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Rachel Hills talks about <a href="http://rachelhills.tumblr.com/post/2317210110/what-gay-marriage-opponents-have-in-common-with-gay-fren">What gay marriage opponents have in common with gay French philosophers</a> - more then you would think!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Life</strong></span><br />
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The Hoydens talk about <a href="http://hoydenabouttown.com/20101202.9042/ethics-classes-to-be-offered-in-sre-time-in-nsw/">Ethics classes to be offered in SRE time in NSW</a> Finally, it looks like this ridiculous double standard is going to end.<br />
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Chally shows off her drawing skills at <a href="http://zeroatthebone.wordpress.com/2010/12/12/chally-and-the-uterine-fistfight/">Chally and the uterine fistfight</a>. Uteri and their aggressive natures, tsk, tsk!<br />
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Deborah talks about <a href="http://inastrangeland.wordpress.com/2010/12/23/the-treacle/">The Treacle</a> in Adelaide.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Media</strong></span><br />
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The News with Nipples gets a surprise in - <a href="http://newswithnipples.com/2010/12/08/diplomats-have-opinions-im-shocked/">Diplomats have opinions? I'm shocked</a><br />
and then discusses the tension between bloggers and journalists in <a href="http://newswithnipples.com/2010/12/06/our-own-worst-enemy/">Our own worst enemy </a><br />
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<a href="http://hoydenabouttown.com/20101221.9192/today-in-double-standards/">Today in Double Standards</a> touches on the increasingly concerning story of the Melbourne teenager and those photos.<br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Politics</span></strong><br />
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Blue Milk talks about costuming in <a href="http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2010/12/16/do-not-fuck-with-masculinity/">Do Not Fuck with Masculinity</a>. Coz being dressed as 'female' is totes the worst thing eva! <br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Race/Racism</span></strong><br />
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A really thought provoking series by Chally - <a href="http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2010/11/30/cultural-constructions-part-1/">Cultural Constructions, Part 1</a> .<br />
<a href="http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2010/12/06/cultural-constructions-part-2/">Cultural Constructions, Part 2 </a><br />
<a href="http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2010/12/13/cultural-constructions-part-3/">Cultural Constructions, Part 3 </a><br />
<a href="http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2010/12/15/cultural-constructions-an-interlude/">Cultural Constructions: An Interlude </a><br />
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Tiara the Merch girl writes about how people only see her Otherness, which erases her queerness in <a href="http://www.racialicious.com/2010/12/21/exotic-taboo-love-anonymously/">Exotic Taboo [Love, Anonymously] . </a><br />
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Chally talks on <a href="http://zeroatthebone.wordpress.com/2010/12/17/colouring-perception/">Colouring Perception</a> and how colour is subjective and cultural.<br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Repro Justice </span></strong><br />
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At A Touch of the Crazy, Stef has a rant on <a href="http://atouchofthecrazy.wordpress.com/2010/12/03/the-abortion-law-in-this-country-needs-to-change-now/">The abortion law in this country needs to change now </a><br />
The wonderful Hoydens dispel some abortion myths in <a href="http://hoydenabouttown.com/20101206.9099/bftp-we-knew-it-was-bad-for-you-see/">BFTP: We knew it was bad for you, see!?! </a><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Reviews</span></strong><br />
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The Hoydens strike again in <a href="http://hoydenabouttown.com/20101205.9092/review-radical-act/">Review: Radical Act </a><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Sex/Relationships</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;"></span></strong><br />
Ally talks about something that is not gross in <a href="http://iamoffendedbecause.blogspot.com/2010/12/some-grossly-indulgent-self-promotion.html">Some Grossly Indulgent Self Promotion, And A Story Called Gross .</a><br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Breast Cancer</span></strong><br />
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NZGirl started a highly inappropriate breast cancer awareness campaign. And it pissed NZ feminist bloggers off - and rightly so. Rachel Hansen asked <a href="http://www.rachelhansen.org/1/post/2010/11/should-we-be-asking-girls-to-get-your-tits-out-for-the-girls.html">Should we be asking girls to "get your tits out for the girls"? </a>, followed by Queen Of Thorns says there is only <a href="http://ideologicallyimpure.wordpress.com/2010/12/01/theres-only-one-reason-to-care-about-breast-cancer/">one reason to care about breast cancer</a>, rails against being a <a href="http://ideologicallyimpure.wordpress.com/2010/12/01/self-image-issues-daddy-issues-and-religious-indoctrination-issues/">"prude"</a> and discussing how the response from NZGirl was, well, <a href="http://ideologicallyimpure.wordpress.com/2010/12/03/nzgirl-wants-us-to-do-their-job-for-them/">less then stellar</a>. At Pickled Tink, <a href="http://pickledthink.blogspot.com/2010/12/titties-cancer-and-consent.html">Amanda sums up and provides some links</a>, and Boganette points out that it goes <a href="http://www.boganette.com/2010/12/and-on-and-on-it-goes.html">on and on and on</a>. Scuba Nurse provides some <a href="http://history-herstory-scubanurse.blogspot.com/2010/12/get-your-tits-out-for-girls-educational.html">actual education</a>. At A lump in the road, a breast cancer survivor talks on her reaction to the campaign in <a href="http://alumpintheroad.wordpress.com/2010/12/01/insensitive/">Insensitive</a>.<br />
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New blogger Annanonymous follows up with some thoughts about the <a href="http://theendisnaenae.blogspot.com/2010/12/pinkification.html">pinkification of breast cancer</a> .<br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">The Body </span></strong><br />
Definatalie is <a href="http://www.definatalie.com/2010/12/21/thirty-and-angry-and-fabulous-darling/">Thirty and angry and fabulous, darling.</a><br />
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The Fat Heffalump talks about food judgement cliches in <a href="http://fatheffalump.wordpress.com/2010/12/20/food-judgement-or-the-post-in-which-i-make-too-many-bad-food-puns/">Food Judgement or The Post in Which I Make too Many Bad Food Puns .</a><br />
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Queen of Thorns writes on progressive and fat hate in <a href="http://ideologicallyimpure.wordpress.com/2010/12/11/you-are-actually-part-of-the-problem-fat-edition">You are actually part of the problem</a><br />
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<a href="http://fatheffalump.wordpress.com/2010/12/07/shall-we-dance/">Shall We Dance?</a> - The Fat Heffalump talks about dancing and being fat, and a beautiful paragraph on muscle memory.<br />
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Spilt Milk writes <a href="http://mymilkspilt.wordpress.com/2010/12/22/thanks-for-your-help-doctor/">Thanks, Doctor</a> and then, amazingly, wonderfully and so truthfully in <a href="http://mymilkspilt.wordpress.com/2010/12/14/all-of-us-thoughts-on-fat-acceptance/">All of us (thoughts on fat acceptance)</a> . Just brilliant.<br />
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<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Violence</span></strong><br />
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Over at Geek Feminism they talk about how violence is not the solution to harassment, in <a href="http://geekfeminism.org/2010/12/07/why-dont-you-just-hit-him/">“Why don’t you just hit him?”</a> and continue with <a href="http://geekfeminism.org/2010/12/09/harassment-and-bullying/">Harassment and bullying </a><br />
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On rape and rape culture, Blue Milk talks about <a href="http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2010/12/09/why-most-preventative-strategies-are-set-up-wrong/">Why most preventative strategies are set up wrong</a> , News with Nipples provides some scary info on <a href="http://newswithnipples.com/2010/12/09/police-and-rape-myths/">Police and rape myths</a>, Stef talks about <a href="http://atouchofthecrazy.wordpress.com/2010/12/08/girls-in-bikinis-boys-doing-the-twist/">rape blame</a> and Queen of Thorns does some <a href="http://ideologicallyimpure.wordpress.com/2010/12/22/signal-boosting-rape-culture-hasnt-gone-away-and-neither-have-we/">signal boosting</a>.<br />
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And last but not least, "Harriet J's call out against Naomi Wolf's Assange fuckery" in <a href="http://www.fugitivus.net/2010/12/22/dear-second-and-third-wave-feminists-with-publicly-recognizable-names/">Dear Second and Third Wave Feminists With Publicly Recognizable Names</a> <br />
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Thanks for stopping by everyone!<br />
<br />
This concludes this edition! Submit your blog article to the next edition of Down Under Feminists carnival using our <a href="http://blogcarnival.com/bc/submit_4257.html">carnival submission form.</a><br />
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Past posts and future hosts can be found on our <a href="http://blogcarnival.com/bc/cprof_4257.html">blog carnival index page.</a><br />
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<div></div>Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-43397111239882703682010-12-17T08:33:00.001+11:002010-12-17T08:33:00.536+11:00Motherhood is a gift...or notI was at a wedding earlier in the year, talking to a pregnant person in the line for the loos. We were talking about when she was due and then talked about my daughter and the son that she had already. <br />
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As the conversation continued she looked in to my eyes and said something along the lines of "It's just such a <em>gift</em> isn't it? It's just <em>the best thing in the world</em>. It's just a real gift". I nodded and smiled, looking like I was agreeing with her, all the time thinking, "Is she really serious? Does she <em>really really </em>believe that?"<br />
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I have heard a few people say this now. And I don't...get it. It does not resonant with me, but even more, it makes me feel squirmy. Very squirmy. <br />
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I understand that just because it's true for me, it doesn't mean that it's not true for other people.<br />
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But a gift is free, without pain, effort, cost and comprise. It comes to you with joy and doesn't take from you. <br />
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And I love her, but the Strumpette is not a gift. She comes with pain, effort and compromise. Confusion and frustration. Tiredness, every-day-grindiness. She is awesome, and smart, and funny, and oh-so-cute, but a gift she is not. Gifts don't snot on you and shit in the bath.<br />
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And it makes me squirmy - because by framing Motherhood in this way, we erase all that stuff that makes Motherhood and parenting so bloody difficult and consuming. And that does no one any favours. You can't complain about a gift, say you're struggling with a gift, that you need help with a gift.<br />
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And that is really problematic. Because then people don't voice their problems. Don't mention that they're having trouble coping. Don't explain that sometimes it ain't all baby cuddles and soft skin. Because there is nothing wrong with a gift, amirite?<br />
<br />
I'm not saying that there isn't a lot of awesome when it comes to parenting. Because there is. It must be for the human race to keep breeding as it does. But a gift it is not. So I think we have to be careful about the way we talk about parenting to others. So we can leave the lines open to commiserate, share and debrief. Which is really the gift now isn't it?<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">NOTE</span><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Maybe if I had struggled with fertility and really really went through hoops to get a baby, I might feel different. For those of you in that boat, I apologise and allow you your feelings! </span>Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-71471621077566480992010-12-13T10:32:00.000+11:002010-12-13T10:32:43.546+11:00If you read one thing this year...Make it <a href="http://mymilkspilt.wordpress.com/2010/12/09/who-hears-you-when-you-speak-about-rape/">this</a>. In fact, given that we're almost at the end of the year, if you're only going to read one thing this finacial year - make it that. And, if, as I suspect, most of you are women reading this blog, show <a href="http://mymilkspilt.wordpress.com/2010/12/09/who-hears-you-when-you-speak-about-rape/">this </a>article to the men in your life.Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-22803311381028175892010-12-13T09:33:00.000+11:002010-12-13T09:33:00.525+11:00Why Profligate Promiscuous Strumpet?Thanks <a href="http://inastrangeland.wordpress.com/"target="new">Deborah</a> for the idea. I hope this answers your <a href="https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=5899045847362616435&postID=282943709675772999"target="new">question</a>!<br />
<br />
I have a friend. A great friend. I don't see her often enough and I miss her heaps. We came up with this fabulous name for ourselves, back in the day. We were Profligate Promiscuous Strumpets. And still are with any luck.<br />
<br />
We both love words. And books. And dancing. And being loud. And flirting. And somewhere in the deep dark past, we came upon this word. <strong>Profligate</strong>. Such a good word. You can bite it. And let it dribble down your chin. We liked the meaning of it, because at that point in our lives, we were <em><strong>all about</strong></em> the excesses. (<span style="font-size: x-small;">I'm not providing the definition here, because I figure you're all really smart and know it, and if it's unfamilar to you, it doesnt mean you're not smart. But it means you're here, on a computer, and can use google).</span><br />
<br />
<strong>Promiscuous</strong>. I probably wasn't as promiscuous as I could have been, or as much as I now wish I had been. But we liked it - it was kind of a fuck-you to all the <a href="http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2010/04/04/what-is-slut-shaming/"target="new">slut-shaming</a> and good-girl lessons and being a <em>lady.</em> Fuck that. We liked boys. And men. And kissing them. A lot of them. It was sooo much fun. <br />
So yeah... Promicsuous? Hell Yeah. Testify. Hands up in there, wave em around like you just don't care. <br />
<br />
Ahem. Sorry, got a little distracted. I was vogue-ing in my seat and I hope you were too (or maybe that's just me again.)<br />
<br />
<strong>Strumpet</strong>. We just liked the word. It sounded fun. And that implied <em>sluttiness </em>in the word,<em> </em>which I'm sure some people applied to us, it was another way of owning that judgment but also saying fuck you to it as well. To us, it meant sexy, and messy, and sassy and mischevious, and powerful. Which we were And I hope we still are.<br />
<br />
And when I was looking for a blog name, I wanted something a bit fun. And a bit fuck you. And that meant something to me. I think it's probably too long. And to complicated to search for. But it's done now. And it's mine.<br />
<br />
So, my other Profligate Promiscuous Strumpet - thanks for the great times. I miss you. And Thanks for the name for my little space on the intertubes. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">N.B This posts hints a lot of the raunch culture I embraced as a young adult. My privelege allowed me to indulge in it, nay, wallow in raunch culture, relatively unscathed. One day, when I get the time, I'd like to unpack that time for you all. But I just want to acknowledge it here, so that you're aware, that I'm aware that this post touches on it, and that raunch culture is not without it's problems. All aware now? :)</span>Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-46264614524222939052010-12-11T08:00:00.002+11:002010-12-11T08:00:04.400+11:00A safe space (Bookclub is awesome, wrapped in bacon awesome)With shirtless libidinous Hugh Jackman (insert other crush here) awesome.<br />
<br />
We all need <a href="http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Safe_space"target="new">safe spaces</a>. Where we can talk, and discuss and explore. And laugh. Feel better about ourselves and the world. Regroup if needed. Feel like we are connected. Feel like we are Heard. That we are cared for.<br />
<br />
I am lucky enough and have enough <a href="http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/03/11/faq-what-is-male-privilege/"target="new">privilege</a>, to have a few of those spaces in my life.<br />
<br />
One of them is Bookclub. Created and managed by my wonderful sister, who shall be known in this blog as DootDoot. (Strumpette christened her so.) <br />
<br />
Bookclub is once a month. We read a book, we meet at one another's houses and we talk about said book. Very simple.<br />
<br />
But oh the joy.<br />
I often desire meaningful conversation in my life. Not necessarily serious, but conversation that talks about stuff that matters. Bookclub fulfills this desire so well. The books we pick aren't necessarily feminist books or books about 'big' stuff. They have generally been fiction. But the books have allowed us to discuss feminism, relationships, gender, activism, the importance of pets, writing styles, race, politics., class, education. <br />
<br />
And laugh. At each other (gently and not-so-gently), with one another, about men, children, life, genitals, swearing and just funny stuff that happens on the night. Laughter until there are tears in our eyes, doubled over, gasping, fading off into giggles. The kind of stuff that makes you laugh out loud later in the week when you think about it. And people look at you strangely when you do so. (Maybe that last parts just me).<br />
<br />
Each time I come home from Bookclub, I am happy. Inspired. Proud to know and be part of such a wonderful, thoughtful, intelligent caring bunch of women. Who don't take shit but like to give it. <br />
<br />
And though some of them would reject the label, everyone of them, to me is feminism personified.<br />
<br />
Thank-you, my Bookclub women.Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-89844265398267277022010-12-09T12:02:00.002+11:002010-12-09T13:43:14.458+11:00Down Under Feminist Carnvial is Up! Woop!Go read the <a href="http://hoydenabouttown.com/20101208.8971/31st-down-under-feminist-carnival/"target="new">31st Down Under Feminist Carnival</a>, at Hoyden about Town.<br />
Neglect your children, ignore your in-tray, divert your phones to voice mail, shut the door, it's time for lunch, a cuppa, and a good read. <br />
<br />
Just quietly, please submit to the next carnival - held HERE! Too exciting!<br />
Either direct to me, or preferably at this <a href="http://blogcarnival.com/bc/submit_4257.html"target="new">little handy do-dad</a>. <br />
<br />
Strumpet.Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-2829437096757729992010-12-07T16:58:00.002+11:002010-12-09T13:45:29.476+11:00I am holding the Down Under Feminist Carnival in JanuaryHello everyone,<br />
<br />
Yes I am a slack blogger. Life and things and children and stuff have been distracting. But I do miss it.<br />
<br />
On a brighter note, I am holding the <a href="http://downunderfeministscarnival.wordpress.com/"target="new">Down Under Feminist Carnival</a> in January, 2011! Woop!<br />
So, I thought I better spruce this blog up a little. I'm going to try and post twice a week. Yup, twice! Do you think you can handle the excitement? Anyone? *crickets*. <br />
<br />
Ahem...<br />
So I will try to post Monday, and Saturday. Please fell free to suggest things for me to post on. I will try to honour your requests, unless their boring topics of course :).<br />
<br />
See you Saturday.<br />
<br />
Cheers,<br />
<br />
Strumpet.Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-47372862742234818892010-08-12T12:43:00.001+10:002010-08-12T12:43:00.733+10:00NOT the way to continue this conversation..A few months ago I went out to a suburban club. I danced with a bunch of guys, my girlfriends I was there with and had a grand old time generally. However, on 3 seperate occasions I had an identical conversation with men.<br />
<br />
I had told each of these men that I was married (their actions indicated to me that they wanted to do more then dance). <br />
<br />
They then asked me why I was out on my 'own' (even though I was with 3 girlfriends). When I answered with something like - "Because I want to be" (Incredulous look, pissed off tone).<br />
<br />
They then said "If you were <em>mine</em> I wouldn't let you out <em>by yourself</em>"". <br />
<br />
The tone was fully intended as a compliment, like if I was <em>theirs</em> they couldn't bare to have me <em>unaccompanied</em> by their manly selves...<br />
<br />
<br />
Oh vomit. It shows how fucked up things are when men think this a good thing to say to a woman.Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-75782483703403497772010-08-01T13:17:00.000+10:002010-08-01T13:17:34.755+10:00Death and FeminismSomeone near and dear to me recently died. Due to his illness, the last few weeks of his life was a drawn out shitty time of pain, dizziness, vomiting and indignity. <br />
<br />
It's not something I would have wished on Tony Abbot, let alone someone I admired and loved. (Ha de ha ha, see my funny there - I replaced worst enemy with Tony Abbot. I am a comedian extraordinaire.While I'm on it, this post is not about youth in asia. Dear lord, someone stop the chuckles!)<br />
<br />
So it got me to thinking about the rights of the dying - they don't have many really. They should have more. <br />
<br />
They should have the right to dignity and it is denied to them.<br />
They should have the right to not be subjected to torture or cruel and unusual punishment and it is denied to them.<br />
<br />
So, Euthanasia advocacy and activism here I come. It is something that I have always been vaguely 'for' but this has crystallised it for me. I don't want another person to have to suffer this way. Death is a big part of life and we largely ignore it, I think.<br />
<br />
What has this got to do with feminism? Well feminism is about equal rights for all. Dignity for all. And I am feminist. So I stand up and I say, Euthanasia is a hard subject, an emotive subject, a shitty thing to have to sort out. But so is abortion. So is rape. So are a lot of things. But to do nothing is worse. <br />
<br />
So I may donate some money to Exit International or a similar organisation. I'll sure as hell be writing to my state and federal members on this issue. I don't know what else. But I will stand up and say we, they, those to come - deserve more.Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-42155828432114966592010-06-18T09:35:00.002+10:002010-06-18T09:35:00.750+10:00Link-o-ramaDamn right!<br />
<a href="http://mymilkspilt.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/breastfeeding-is-a-feminist-issue/">http://mymilkspilt.wordpress.com/2010/06/14/breastfeeding-is-a-feminist-issue/</a><br />
<br />
Down Under Feminist Carnival - yea. One day I will be brave enough to nominate myself. When I've written something I'm a little in love with I think.<br />
<a href="http://rachelhills.tumblr.com/post/665473491/the-best-of-the-rest-of-the-blogosphere-down-under-femin">http://rachelhills.tumblr.com/post/665473491/the-best-of-the-rest-of-the-blogosphere-down-under-femin</a><br />
<br />
The way Blue Milk writes is just so...right. <br />
<a href="http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2010/06/12/the-love-and-the-hate/">http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2010/06/12/the-love-and-the-hate/</a><br />
I think she is brave for writing this, because when I have expressed simlair things to other people they seem SHOCKED that you could hate parenting, or loathe that your child is awake. Because us parents, especially us mothers, we are martyrs and sacrifice ourselves on the altar of our kids - bleurgh!.<br />
<br />
Thoughts on vulvas, what we do to them and how this fits in to our current culture (western, privileged culture)<br />
<a href="http://thedawnchorus.wordpress.com/2010/05/24/nick-cut/">http://thedawnchorus.wordpress.com/2010/05/24/nick-cut/</a><br />
<br />
<br />
This really says everything I need to say about consent and how the patriarchy works against it. And maybe how women are taught about consent. It's not just yes and no.<br />
<a href="http://jezebel.com/5550321/why-the-kendra-wilkinson-sex-tape-should-make-you-angry">http://jezebel.com/5550321/why-the-kendra-wilkinson-sex-tape-should-make-you-angry</a><br />
<br />
Women's friendships with women. Did you learn how to deal with conflict?<br />
<a href="http://thehathorlegacy.com/women-solidarity-and-no-conflict-ever-programming/">http://thehathorlegacy.com/women-solidarity-and-no-conflict-ever-programming/</a>Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-69432832251327120582010-06-15T13:25:00.000+10:002010-06-15T13:25:40.507+10:00Some answers on Rape Culture and why you can't stop yourself being raped.Some of my girlfriends read <a href="http://profligatepromiscuoustrumpet.blogspot.com/2009/12/rape-culture-some-scenarios.html">this</a> post and they made questions along these lines:<br />
Saying that a girl isn't thinking about her safety by going somewhere with a group of men isn't being sexist, it's just about safety. <br />
<br />
I'm paraphrasing of course, but I think that was the gist of their comments (apologies if I'm misrepresenting you, my loves!).<br />
<br />
I couldn't answer you at the time, except to say THAT is exactly the problem and THAT is rape culture right there.<br />
<br />
Having pondered on it, I can now (hopefully) answer you better. And maybe <a href="http://fuckpoliteness.wordpress.com/2010/05/01/what-the-hell/">these</a> <a href="http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2010/06/01/dont-get-raped/">things</a> <a href="http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/2010/06/05/but-why-shouldnt-she-take-some-responsibility-too-for-the-rape/">could</a> <a href="http://www.onlineopinion.com.au/view.asp?article=9320">help</a> too.<br />
<br />
Maybe it isn't safe to go somewhere with a group of guys. Maybe it is. The point is, as long as we question what a woman was doing in a given situation where she was raped, verbally or sexually abused or had her safety threatened we are blaming her. We are saying that she COULD have done something different. And when does that stop? And who gets to decide? And when is it unsafe? (especially considering you are more likely to be raped or sexually assualted by someone you know)<br />
<br />
Is it unsafe when you have drunk too much? How much is too much? 1 drink, 4 drink, 10 drinks?<br />
<br />
When your skirt is too short? How short? How tight?<br />
<br />
When you were too flirty? What's flirty? Who decides?<br />
<br />
When you were with too many strangers? How many is too many? When does a person become someone you can know and trust? <br />
<br />
When you were dancing suggestively? What makes it suggestive? How should you dance?<br />
<br />
When you were having intimate interactions with someone? At what point does it mean that you were 'up for it'? When does it become 'too late to back out'?<br />
<br />
As long as we make these calls on women - What were they doing there? How come they were that drunk? Why were they wearing that, at that time, at that location - we are placing the onus on women to keep themselves safe, to keep themselves from being raped. At what point do we stop limiting ourselves and our actions to be safe? We can't stop ourselves from being raped, anymore then we can stop being smited by a vengeful sprite :D. <br />
<br />
We can't stop it happening to us, because we can't do anything to cause it. That is not meant to frighten you, <strong><span style="color: black;">it is meant to free you.</span></strong> Women can't stop rape occuring to them, because it's not our actions (or inactions) that cause rape. <br />
<br />
Rapists cause rape.<br />
Rapists are the only ones who can stop it. <br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">(I understand that there is actions women can take to educate men (who are the people most likely to rape other people, especially women) about consent, but that is not the argument I am refuting, or the point I am trying to make. Hope that makes sense...)</span>Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-6909108271805728622010-03-22T10:51:00.000+11:002010-03-22T10:51:21.136+11:00The neverending struggleSo<br />
I am relatively new to this whole parenting gig. About a year new. And I am a SAHM and my husband works, so the lion's share of care falls to me. This is the decision we made, and I am all good with that.<br />
<br />
We just recently celebrated the Bubbanor's 1st birthday a few weeks ago.<br />
And for the most part, I love it. It's endlessly fascinating and entertaining and changing.<br />
<br />
But it also WORK. And the part that I find the most work? Not the nappy washing, the bum changing, the breast feeding, the food feeding, the outfit changing and all that associate drudgery.<br />
<br />
It is ensuring that my partner is involved in her care when we are together. Let me clarify, when I am not there he is all fine with her routine, and going out and about and making decision about what to do when and where.<br />
<br />
But when I am there, he abdicates this responsibility to me. Because I know her best, because it is second nature to me to pack her bag early, to decide to go out at <em>this</em> time because it work best for <em>that </em>nap or mealtime. And it would be easy for me to let him do that. But that is not what I signed up for. That is not how I want our parenting to be. So I work at it.<br />
<br />
What time do you think we should head out tomorrow?<br />
<br />
When works best for X?<br />
<br />
You decide, you know her schedule, what do you think is best?<br />
<br />
X time.<br />
<br />
Good, okay, cool.<br />
<br />
The problem is that I am the one that always asks this question - if I don't ask it, it is assumed that I am taking care of it.<br />
<br />
At bathtime, if I am there, he forgets to get out a night nappy, pyjamas, to check the time, and so he will ask for me to do these things. He copes when I am not there, but when I am there, he abdicates again and again.<br />
<br />
I am the one who keeps an eye on the clock for snacks, for lunch, for bathtime. I am the one who reminds him that is the time for these things. Because if I don't remind him, then they are left for me.<br />
<br />
I know I need to talk to him about this, and I know he is aware he does it but he still does it. It would be less tiring to give up and just do those things myself - without the reminder, without pushing him to make the decision. And it has suprised me, that <em>this thing </em>is the most tiring part of parenting.<br />
<br />
But I refuse to capitulate. But it is work and I don't feel like it will ever end. It is tiring to continually be struggling<br />
<br />
Is this an unusual parenting thing or does this tend to happen when one parent has the lion's share of care? I would be interested in your responses and thoughts....Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-80288176976094078432010-03-20T11:35:00.000+11:002010-03-20T11:35:55.431+11:00Take two, and teaspooningOkay. <br />
<br />
Hi again, loyal readers *waves*<br />
<br />
So I did plan to post regularly and you can see what has happened with regards to <em>that</em>.<br />
<br />
So take two on the regular posting and we'll see how we go from here.<br />
I think I am (as always) too ambitious and then I get overwhlemed so do nothing! Hence, just a short post today.<br />
<br />
I've done a bit of <a href="http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2007/12/me-and-my-teaspoon.html">teaspooning</a> <a href="http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2010/01/shaxicon.html">this</a>(scroll to teaspooning) week. Just a little one, but important. <br />
<br />
My lovely Dad, and my lovely husband both made a couple of off-the-cuff comments to other males about "Not being a girl" or "How's your ovaries" and "Stop being a girl". Y'know the comments that use girl/female/so called feminine behaviour as an insult. I told them that this was not appropriate and by saying those comments they were saying that being a girl was worse then being a man. I said that I don't want my daughter exposed to that type of comment. My Dad seemed to take it on board, at least I think he will curb those comments around my daughter and his other grandchildren. My husband, stubborn, argumentative love that he is, didn't really get it, but seems to understand that I find it offensive and will curb it on the basis of that. <br />
<br />
So my little act of teaspooning for the week. It was both easier and harder than I thought it would be.Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-46875436377125550322009-12-16T14:04:00.000+11:002009-12-16T14:04:08.594+11:00Link-o-rama<a href="http://mynxii.livejournal.com/762030.html">Down Under Feminist Carnival</a><br />
Much food for thought<br />
<br />
<a href="http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/">Schrodingers rapist</a><br />
I. can't. begin. to. explain. how. awesome. this. post. is.<br />
READ IT! Make the men in your life read it.<br />
To one day be able to express myself thus...<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.gofugyourself.com/">Go Fug Yourself</a><br />
Snarky fashion commentary - coz us hairy feminists laugh too, believe it or not!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://morethansides.blogspot.com/2009/12/teaspoons-arent-enough.html">Teaspoons aren't enough</a><br />
The small stuff counts. Also, FYI Teaspoons refer to taking a teaspoon out of the ocean - it may not seem to be doing much, but if we all did it, then we could empty the ocean (of sexism, patriarchy, ableism etc etc)<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEAaHpFGKac">Target Women: Beauty Contraptions</a><br />
Tee hee. 9306 times. Times what? LOL<br />
<br />
<br />
Enjoy - and more coming soon - Rape Culture - Part Deux and Breastfeeding - boobies, boobies, boobies!Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-65356213633644758872009-12-08T20:11:00.003+11:002009-12-10T19:21:12.530+11:00Rape Culture - some scenariosRape culture - Scenario 1.<br />
<br />
<div> </div><br />
<div> </div><br />
<div> </div><br />
<div> </div>What is rape culture? What does it mean? How does it affect your day to day life? <br />
<div> </div>People much smarter, more eloquent and sucicint then I, have defined rape culture - check out some definitions here and here.<br />
<br />
<div> </div>So I want to discuss the rape culture that I see. This is not the things that are maybe the most obvious and these are not things that come from those Rapists that are identifiable threats - you know the drunk guy in the alley way with the knife.<br />
<br />
<div> </div>These are things that I see in men (and women). Men and women that I really like and that for most cases, love, adore and respect. It's not that these people are assholes, it's that because we live in a rape culture, they don't realise (and neither did I for a long time) that this shit sounds acceptable because just about everybody is doing it! A few scenarios to help us on our way...the first after the jump...<br />
<br />
<div> </div><a name='more'></a><div> </div>Scenario One (the others to come in a later post)Discussing the alleged rape of two women by men from a suburban football club (News story here) with a couple that we know (We = Hubby and I. Hubby shall henceforth be known as Strumpet Wrangler :D )<br />
<br />
<br />
<div> </div>Questions that were asked/ Comments that were made about the story of the alleged rape (not direct quotes, obviously): <br />
<ul><li>Who goes back to a house with a group of men/football team? </li>
<li>I wonder if they were drunk. </li>
<li>Apparently they were out partying with the same guys the next night </li>
<li>Apparently some guys were holding back until the Captain of the team went into the room, and then they all thought it was okay. </li>
<li>I think that guys that were there but had little or no involvement will end up taking the fall for the guys who actually did it. </li>
</ul>Out of those 5 comments 3 are about the behaviour of the women involved. <br />
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<div> </div>Let's look at those top 3 comments a little closer. The first two basically are saying if they were drunk and if they did go back with the group of guys willingly then they somehow are partly to blame for being raped. These are comments that I seem to hear every time I discuss sexual assault and rape. <br />
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<div> </div>We need to stop this shit people. When you hear it, call the person out. <br />
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<div> </div>No one is asking to be raped. Do not proportion blame on to the person who was raped. <br />
Because NO ONE asks to be raped - not with the level of their sobriety, not with there amount of clothes, not with the gender or number imbalance of the people they're with, not with the flirting they do, because NO ONE asks to be raped. Got it?<br />
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Also, in relation to those two comments, there is an implication that the girls being there, or being drunk, meant that they consented on some level. Well people, if you don't know already you should know by now - consent is fluid, consent is a negotiation, consent is not a present given and then held for evermore. That means that even in the unlikely event that you, semi naked, in your slutty* clothes, two sheets to the wind, decide that a gang bang with the suburban footie boys is a great idea, YOU are ALLOWED to change your mind. It is only right that you can say to yourself, yes sex seems like a good idea and then decide later on that you don't feel safe, you don't feel aroused, you don't feel like it, you feel tired, you feel like you would prefer to read a book or just that his breath smells bad. You have that right.<br />
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<div> </div>Oooo they went out partying with the same guys the next night. Does that mean rape didn't happen?<br />
/sarcasm - Because never in the history of sexual relations between humans has rape occured and the survivor has still maintained contact with the rapist....Never ever /end sarcasm. Look, I understand that many people may think that if you had been raped the only reasonable response is to stay the fuck away from the rapist. I get that. But you have to remember, and think about how relations really work between men and women.<br />
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<div> </div>Bear with me a moment here... ** Ok, people with vaginas - put your hand up if this has never happened to you - in an interaction with a man, you tell him that a behaviour or action towards you, from him, is unwanted. This action/behaviour is of a sexual nature - whether it's in a bar, asking to buy you a drink, a pinch on the arse in a crowd at a fair. or a conversation that is flirtatious/sexual. So, you've made it clear to the guy that this behaviour is unwanted. The behaviour/action repeats. You repeat, with your body language or with your verbal language, or with a physical response (walk away, push the person off you etc) that the behavior is unwanted. Repeat ad nauseuom, with escalations on both side. That specific interaction/behaviour ends. You are upset, you are confused. The man apologises, he says it will never happen again. Maybe he says it didn't even happen that way, you've got it wrong, you lead him on, blah blah fucking blah. He's sorry, he's not that kinda guy. In that moment, you are convinced he is a nice guy, it was a bad mistake, he'll be better. But then later...you think on it, and you realise that the behavior was not wrong, was in fact really bad and deserves for him to be called out and held accountable. <br />
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<div> </div>And that realisation takes as long as it takes....it does. Ok so where are those women with their hands up? Are you there? Comment away please!<br />
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<div> </div>Whoa, this is talking longer then I thought to write out...I was hoping for a short pithy arrangement but that doesn't seem to be about to happen. Should be no suprise, I am known for my ***verbosity<br />
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<div> </div>On to point the 4. Is this what men are really like when it comes to sexual relations with women? That the leader of the group decdies something is okay, so then it must be fine for you to do? Really? C'mon...you men are better then this. You control your own sexual appetites, behaviours and morality. If you are claiming you are lead astray by the sexy women, or that you were coerced by the group you were in, you too are displaying those charactertics of being in a rape culture. Be men, be your own men, and be respectful men. <br />
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<div> </div>The last point - <br />
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<div> </div>If you're a man and you're reading this, or you know a man, make sure they know and understand the following comment - If you're in a situation that could be construed as rape and/or sexual abuse, then you shouldn't be in that situation at all! If you think what is happening is sorta wrong, then you a) need to try and put a stop to it and make sure the people involved are safe and b) not be in that situation - eg leave so that you are not a perpertrator of the abuse. I think this last comment also has a little bit of the old men get blamed for rape when they didn't do it, or were only in the vicinty. Once again, I refer you to the point above in bold!<br />
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<div> </div>So, after all I've written in the above, what really is the bloody point I'm trying to make. A few really:-<br />
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<div> </div>We live in a rape culture<br />
It doesn't have to be this way<br />
It won't stop being a rape culture until people are aware that it is a rape culture<br />
In order for that to happen, people need to be held accountable for innappropriate behaviour - jokes, comments, interactions as well as the more identifiable abuses.<br />
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<div> </div>So what will you do to make people accountable? What's your little bit of difference...<br />
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<div> </div>Challenge me, argue with me, talk it out with me...Let's see how it goes....<br />
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<div> </div>Next post will still focus on rape culture and will be about the subtle abuses women face everyday - the arse touch, the comments, the boob brush...\<br />
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<div> </div>P.S Sorry if this is long winded and disjointed - I'm learning as I go along and trying to put into words my thoughts in a succint manner is harder then I thought!<br />
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<div> </div>*Slutty - I understand that this is a rape culture term, but was using it for sarcastic effect here.<br />
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<div> </div>**I understand that I'm talking about heteronormative relationships here - once again for illustration purposes.<br />
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<div> </div>*** Read: verbal and written, diarrhea!Prof. Promiscuous Strumpethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14281167315228189268noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-57895482123532465832009-11-24T15:37:00.004+11:002009-12-10T19:23:48.424+11:00Feminisim 101So - I identify as a feminist.<br />
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I used to say 'No <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">I'm</span> not a feminist, I'm for equality". Mainly because that word "Feminist" was too confronting, too on the offense for the majority of people I speak to. And I did not have the knowledge to argue further.<br />
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But now I'm trying to learn. And I understand the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Feminism</span> is all about Equality. And I'm trying to live my life with a little more "Hey, not cool" when I see patriarchy, misogyny and rape culture going on.<br />
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But I'm learning, and I'm navigating my way through to my own brand of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">feminism</span>. And I have a lot of reading to do on theory, of which I have done pretty much <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">nada</span>.<br />
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So why now? What's brought me to this point?<br />
I think motherhood has a lot to do with it. And whilst it shouldn't make a difference, but being the mother of a girl has a lot to do with it as well. What kind of world do I want her to be in? How do I want her to be treated? What subtle shit goes on in society that she just shouldn't have to point is out is bullshit, but will have to?<br />
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So I'm off to do a lot of reading and thinking and exploring and probably <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">veering</span> between one idea and another until I find what is right and wrong for me and what I think about all this chick stuff :P. Would be great if you could join me, and share your thoughts as well.<br />
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Some thoughts and questions that have lead me to this point include, but are not limited to:<br />
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Why the pink and the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">priss</span> and the niceness and the neatness for girls?<br />
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Why should my baby girl have to cover up around male persons before my baby nephew does - and why do we still expect women/girls to help men from committing offences by censuring their( the females) behaviour, dress etc?<br />
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Unequal parenting and societies parenting expectations.<br />
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Rape jokes, rape culture and how almost everyone knows will comment on the victims dress, behaviour or other thing they <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">should've</span> done different in order to avoid being raped!<br />
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Linking in with the above, the proliferation of violent <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">oppressive</span> porn.<br />
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Last names and why you shouldn't take your husbands (out of all the posts that could happen, I think this one may anger the people I know the most).<br />
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So...there's a lot to unpack there. There's a lot I need to learn. I think I may start with rape culture and what that means and what to do about it when I see it. Especially when I see it in the people I love....<br />
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So here I go...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5899045847362616435.post-91500071573596812982009-11-23T16:32:00.002+11:002009-11-23T16:36:53.851+11:00And the point is...Not much really...<br />I like to rant, and I have much to rant about. <br />So I thought I would rant here...<br />Expect to see biased, poorly constructed ranting on, but not limited to: feminisim, motherhood, men, horses, dogs, dickheads, my daughter, my family, my nieces and nephews, fire season, awareness, jobs, dis-ability, 4WDs, vaginas, how models should embrace pasta, chips and sandwiches, how stillettos are evil but I cant help but buy they are so pretty, food, how I used to be hot, raunch culture and things that are fugly. And ranting.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1